Thursday, November 28, 2013

To December, With Love

Dear December,

I don’t know if I have much to say to you. Most of the time, I will be thinking about making it to the end.

I try every year to bring forth special things that speak love and joy, and I usually feel a fair measure of success by the time the 25th rolls around. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy. It is never easy.

This year I have help. I get to visit family in a beautiful log home. A family who loves to bake, sing, and carry on in ways that only a close-knit bunch with a long history can understand.

It helps tremendously. When it’s just the five of us, here in Illinois, it’s mighty lonely. Not that I’m not thankful for my little family, goodness gracious! But sometimes it’s not enough. Actually most of the time it is not enough. I am tired and I only keep doing this because I have to survive. I’m sorry to tell you I am not terribly happy, but you probably knew that already.

You are the queen of the unhappy. You are the gathering place for the throng of discontented. You open your arms to a tremendous lot of pain, loneliness, denial and all the ways we run away from it. You are the home of the runaways. The light in the window for the broken-hearted. The year crawls by in despair and you are the last-ditch effort to make it all make sense before the world freezes us out altogether. At the end of November, you look like hope from myriad angles.

You also look intimidating. I’m sorry, December, but you have 31 days. Do you know how hard it is to stretch a paycheck for 31 days? Do you know how much gas it costs to go to Advent services, to visit faraway families? Do you know how expensive a turkey or a ham is? Do you know how many boxes of mac & cheese we will be eating this month in order to feast in togetherness?

It’s ok, December. I love you anyway. I know you are a safe enough confidante to share the hard things with. You are the mother of “In the Bleak Midwinter.” You are the holy strain of “Silent Night.” You are the merry inspiration of “what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh.” You are silver bells and pumpkin pie and chestnuts roasting on an open fire, which I’ve had before and they aren’t very good, but they sound romantic. You did that. And I appreciate it.

Dear December, I know you try. I know you light a candle for all the tears and all the hopes. I know your colors red and green make my heart skip a beat sometimes with the beauty. I know you’ve taught me to love snow just a tiny little bit, which I thought was impossible.

Thanks for being here for me. In spite of our differences, you’re my favorite. I still believe in your magic.

I love you, December.

Jamie

This post was written for this week's prompt: "Write a letter to December" from Elora Nicole through the Story Sessions group.

10 comments:

  1. Lovely, Jamie. Bittersweet, just like this season. Thank you.

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  2. Yes, bittersweet is a word that captures this time of year oh so very well. Thank you. :)

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  3. this is breathtaking. my soul tingles at your words, dear dear Jamie.


    love you, dear one.

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  4. Yes, bittersweet, that is exactly how I feel about this time of year. Most of the time, I know that it's going to be stressful but no matter how I plan to alleviate the stress, it's there. I am so glad that you are going to get to be gathered into the bosom of your family this year!

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  5. Thank you, Rachel. Love you, too. <3

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  6. Thank you! Wishing you peace and strength for this bittersweet season. <3

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  7. My heart began to sing when I read this: "This
    year I have help. I get to visit family in a beautiful log home. A
    family who loves to bake, sing, and carry on in ways that only a
    close-knit bunch with a long history can understand."


    My dad used to say that if you've had one true friend in life, you're a fortunate person indeed. I will be thinking of you as you sacrifice to make the trip to be with these precious folks who know you as only they can know you.


    I pray Emmanuel holds you tight all month long and that the cold, sharp edges of life are turned into something beautiful to brighten the dark days. I send this with a hug and gratitude for being able to glimpse a little of your beautiful heart today. I'm off now to read more of your pages! :)

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  8. Thank you for rejoicing with me. What a blessed gift your words are today Susan. Thank you so much, indeed! Sending a tight hug right back to you, with love. <3

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  9. ooh, girl, you nailed it! I love this post. You're such a beautiful writer, Jamie.

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