Tuesday, February 12, 2013

A Year Without Yelling?

Try a week.
Ok, almost a whole week.
Thank you, The Orange Rhino Challenge.
This was empowering.
Potentially life-changing.
I CAN be calm and I can deal with this without involving the passionate action of screaming at my dearest people.

I had left the opened bag of bulk cinnamon on the edge of the counter. The Edge, it turns out, is my toddler's favorite hangout spot. Down it went in a cascade of reddish-brown dust. "NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" I shrieked! Not my brightest reaction. And then, "Oh, you made me break my no yelling rule," I sadly whined.
Talk about passing the blame.
Sorry, little guy. Heat of the moment and all that sort of thing.
I had set it up for him, after all.
Credit where it's due, you know.
Sigh.
Moving on.
Smoothie hour arrived and with it a phone call. Followed by banana, coconut, creamy slosh on the kiddie school paper scraps littering my floor. It could have been worse. It could have landed smack dab on the sorry excuse for a brown carpet that desperately tries to hide the messes we and the previous occupants have made over time. I squealed anyway, "Nooooo!" It was more of a loud whine than a yell.
I have recently discovered what a childhood friend has told me all along.
I whine.
A lot!
Oh, I hear it now!
I am trying to do something about it.
Really.
Promise.
Shortly following the smoothie mishap, I was still on the phone with my dear sister whose voice I hadn't heard in too long. So when my toddler climbed up on the table and went fishing in his brother's glass of milk, I started it again. But I stopped in the middle this time.
Hooray, the mechanism is there!
The power exists within me to say no to the rising temper.
To respond with kindness.
I know it is there and I WILL learn to use it.
It will take time and discipline.
It will take a lot of love.
But I will get there through grace, forgiveness, and second chances.
Ironically, my children taught me that. Talk about a game changer. No matter how often I mess up they are willing to let me try again.
Today's kingdom of heaven is brought to you by little children: noisy, wild, beautiful, free, and most unconditionally loving and loved.
Hashtag "Thankful."

6 comments:

  1. This is so inspiring! I know deep down I can control the yelling, but I yell anyway. I easily ignore it. A week of trying, being intentional about not yelling? I can do that, right? And you are right on the dot with the whole being real in your writing thing. I love this!

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    1. You can do it! Start small with your goals so you can celebrate the victories. Even a day without yelling to begin! (With lots of grace thrown in.)

      So far, I am doing fairly well with Week 1, Take 2. ;)

      Aaaaand... go!

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  2. This is great, Jamie! I know you will encourage many with this blog. And yes, start small with goals - even half a day or however small it needs to be. And definitely with lots of grace! I love you girls!

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  3. Thanks, Mom. You are always so encouraging.

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  4. Maybe I can turn my yell into a laugh. I have to make noise, though, because I'm also a wild child. Like, "Oh noooooo.....Hahaha!" Babies like to see what happens to different substances. That's how we all learned about matter. Secret bathroom sink concoctions were my thing- and it seems to be generational, lol. When I look into the reasons why dumping stuff out upsets me, it's usually because I do not need another mess, but mostly because I have attached a value to it that I assume is inherent and that the kids should automatically share with me. It is usually a dollar value. It is a scarcity value. In essence, God isn't big enough to provide our needs and I am afraid, so I yell. How much discipline, I wonder, comes from imposing the values of Mammon onto our children? As to the cleaning up bit? I have no reservations in having the kids, as much as they are able, learn to clean up after themselves. When they are little, it is usually a fun game, provided the situation isn't stressful.

    I love the blog so far. Please add a share button so we can show you off. Pleeeeeez? If you to the "add gadget" choice there should be a ready made one in the menu.

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    1. Haha, a yell into a laugh. I can see the kids freaking out. "Mama done gone lost it!" =P Just kidding...

      Interesting thoughts about the root of our yelling being that we attached value to something.

      I remember helping with some baby powder soup. I'm sure Mom was pleased. ;)

      There is a share button right under the post and just above the comments. I'm not sure why it isn't showing up for you. But I will share new posts on facebook so you can go to my profile and share from my page. :)

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